Thom Ironhand

A dwarf among dwarves. So dwarfy he'd make your head spin.


Thom Ironhand is basically the best dwarf ever. Smart, surly, and terribly beardy, Thom is the kind of dwarf that other dwarfs want to be, and dwarfettes want to be with. You could say that Thom is a giant among dwarves, but if you said that Thom would probably clobber you. He clobbered me once, and now look at me. I coulda been a contender…CURSE YOU THOM IRONHAND!!!


But seriously, great guy. Good teeth too. Kinda teeth that makes you wish you flossed more often. But it’s such a hassle, isn’t it? The guy who invents an automatic flosser, he’s gonna be rich…like THOM IRONHANND rich. Maybe it’s too much to dream for. But I know that wouldn’t stop Thom. Nothing could stop him.

I also heard he has wicked bad hemorrhoids…but don’t spread that around okay? Thom is really sensitive about his rumpside health.

Great guy…great guy.

Thom Ironhand

Rise of the Runelords VA Bookkeeper